Mother knows best. The older we get, the more wisdom this pithy little phrase contains. Maybe that’s because we are now becoming the mom’s and female role models for the younger generations. But let’s face it. Our moms had great wisdom. They always knew when we were hungry, sick or tired. They knew when we had had difficult days at school, fought with friends or felt like we did not belong.
There are often no obvious explanations for why moms know what they know. Like the heightened instincts of a doe defending her fawn, a mother’s knowledge comes from her heart and goes to the heart of our need. She knows by intuition what others only learn through experience.
Whether the role is played by a mother, grandmother, aunt or other wise female teacher, behind every successful woman is a wiser, more experienced woman showing her the ropes.
Look in your mirror. The woman staring back at you has a wisdom all her own. Even if she is not a mother and does not want to become one, the woman in the mirror knows her world intuitively. Like mom, she knows how to get you through the tough times and celebrate the successes.
In honor of Mothers’ Day this year, try spending the day listening for the voice of your inner mother. The voice is often still and small because women devote so much of our time to meeting the needs and expectations of others. But pay close attention to your inner mom and you may be inspired by her insights!
“Get to bed. You have a big day tomorrow.” My inner mom has been screaming that one in my ear for months now. But she is not just talking about getting to sleep before midnight. Our inner moms know that we need to practice healthy self-care if we are to be the caretakers in our families, relationships and businesses.
Inner mom reminds each of us to nurture our bodies. But she also calls us to nurture our intelligence, our higher spirits and our creativity. Deep inside, every woman is certain that she has a special purpose in this world … that she is here for a reason. The specifics of that purpose may be revealed slowly. The purpose may inspire us or terrify us. But scary or not, inner mom knows that we have no right to hoard our gifts. Knowing that our big days are ahead of us, inner mom reminds us to study hard, eat well, sleep enough and to give ourselves a break now and then.
“Play nicely with your sister.” It was good advice then and it is good advice now. Women should support other women in life to the extent that this is possible. While all women don’t share the same values and beliefs as us, we should do all we can to see that their right to speak is respected though they disagree with everything we hold dear.
By the way, that also means we should respect our inner mom’s right to speak though she may point out some things we need to change “for our own good.” Such lessons are rarely pleasant, but they typically help us to grow.
“Do not go where I can’t see you” When we ventured too far away from mom’s gaze as youngsters, we took risks we did not even know existed. Similarly, when we wander too far from inner mom’s side, we put our connection with our internal compass at risk.
We have all felt stuck or uncertain in life. And we have all felt the sense of knowing what we should do without having the strength to actually do it. You can call that knowledge conscience, intuition, trusting your gut, providence or wisdom. I think it’s also inner mom opening our minds to a path of action and showing us truths we aren’t yet ready to admit. Stick close to her when the path seems cloudy.
“I love you.” Too many women have trouble with this one. Maybe someone from your past has convinced you that you are not lovable. Perhaps it is your own perfectionist streak that repeatedly tells you that you do not quite measure up. Whatever the source of these negative thoughts, your inner mom knows they are nonsense. She loves you no matter how you life has played out or what you have yet to accomplish.
The woman you are intended to be in this world is strong, capable, beautiful and talented. Your inner mom will see the buds of these traits even before they are in full bloom. But her love for you is not dependent upon your success. She simply adores you for who you are without question or condition. Inner mom loves your person, not just your practices!
Happy Mothers’ Day, ladies! On this day that honors all women, I hope you will have the strength to allow your inner mom to honor you!
As you become more comfortable with the wisdom of your own heart, your inner mom will show you what kinds of female mentors can best help you to thrive. You’ll be more open to guidance from others when you are secure in yourself. Once that happens, you won’t have to look hard for mentors. When the student is ready, her teachers will come!
Dr. Janice Staab is a philosophical counselor and life coach. For more information on her services or to schedule your free consultation, e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. You can also check out her Web site at www.lifesignscoaching.com.