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Listening to your Fear

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“Don’t live in fear. Banish fear from your life. Cast out the fear and let in the love”. We hear things like this said all the time. And given the choice between living in fear and living in love, who among us wouldn’t prefer love?

That said, let’s not be so quick to dismiss fear and its power. I don’t mean its power over us, but its power to guide us. Fear is a potent signal. It tells us that something inside us or around us is out of balance…exuding negative energy…drawing us down an unhealthy or dangerous path.

The depth and contours of our fears parallel the character of the obstacles that block our fluidity of choice. Fear may block us because of roots in habit, memory or past experience. But fear can also give us an intuitive glimpse into the consequences of our choices…a warning that certain life paths will be problematic for us and that we’d do well to explore fully before committing to them.

A great deal of damage can be done to our lives if we ignore this leading of fear. The next time you feel afraid…especially that unnamed fear that nags at you and keeps you from moving on with your life as planned/hoped…find out the fear’s reason for being. Use the following questions as a starting point.

Am I afraid of something that’s happening now, or recalling a fearful experience from my past?

Do I fear something external to me or am I the source of the fear?

Does the fear have certain triggers: actions, words, emotions, colors, sounds, scents, people?

Does the fear ever translate into words? Does it “speak” to me? If so, what does it say?

Do I feel/react to the fear in my body? If so, how? Where?

What ideas/thoughts come up with the fear? What other emotions?

Listening to our fears can be a powerful step in understanding and overcoming what’s holding us back and keeping us from the lives we want!



Put Off Procrastination for Good!

My name is Jan. I’m a recovering procrastinator. I can relate to those of you who never do today what they can put off until tomorrow. And I know that hideous procrastination cycle all too well.
You decide to get healthy, organize your house or any number of other changes that would make your life better if you just did them. Your motivation is high at the start. You envision your new life in vivid detail and go to sleep confident that tomorrow begins the new you.
Then tomorrow comes, and you realize it’s easier to plan your game than to play it. Perhaps you stumble a little the first day. Maybe you just realize that working out or cleaning closets isn’t your cup of tea. Motivation quickly fades into guilt and you put off the new you until tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow….
Put off the procrastination shackles for good. Here are a few tips to do just that.
1. Choose it or lose it! People often say “I always put things off” as though procrastinating was just as natural to us as blue eyes or brown hair. But procrastination isn’t natural. It’s actually a learned habit of avoidance. We procrastinate and avoid a goal if it makes us uncomfortable in some way.
Don’t let past habits define your life. Choose or lose your goals today by asking yourself WHY:
What does this goal mean to me today? Do I want it anymore?
How must my life change if I am to reach this goal?
Yes or no? Is this goal worth the effort to me or not?
If your WHY is convincing enough, then choose to make this goal happen. If it’s not convincing, lose it and save yourself the time and energy you put into procrastinating.
2. Make it manageable. We put off some goals because they’re too big and scary to deal with all at once. Instead of putting off the whole thing, break up your goals into small, manageable pieces. Start with something that you can complete in 15 minutes. Organize one shelf in one closet instead of THE WHOLE HOUSE. Walk for 15 minutes instead of running a 5K. Taking one step at a time, you’ll reach your overall goal without being overwhelmed by it.
3. Failure isn’t fatal. Procrastination is often easier than facing failure. Remind yourself that you don’t need to be perfect. No human being is. You only need to give your best effort at each step. Be gentle with yourself when the steps become difficult. Take your failures as opportunities to learn and do better next time.
4. Don’t put off celebration! Celebrating success after each small step will boost your self-confidence and make future successes more likely.




Welcome to my new blog!

In the coming weeks, I will begin posting my reflections on life, learning, love and experience in general. I am new to this mode of communication, so I hope you’ll bear with me as I work out the kinks!

Check back soon! Feel free to suggest topics you’d like to hear about.



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