Most people who struggle with self-confidence tend to think of it as an all or nothing thing…especially when confidence is in short supply. Either you’re confident or you’re not. You have the wherewithal to get through this challenge or you do not. You believe in yourself or you don’t. You’re perfectly confident in your ability to succeed…or in the likelihood you’ll fail.
Yet, confidence rarely manifests in such absolute terms. And framing confidence in all or nothing terms blocks you from experiencing the living, breathing confidence that’s growing stronger in your heart each time you meet a goal or learn a lesson…even a small, simple one.
Why make confidence so difficult to attain? Instead, seek to develop micro confidence. That is, limit the scope and intensity that your confidence must have in order to “count”. Center your confidence on the infinitely accomplishable and the easily doable.
Don’t have confidence that you can finish a degree? Then take one class…one day at a time. Don’t believe you can lose weight? Start by confidently changing one meal or adding one short walk to your week.
Are you absolutely confident that you’ll never have the life, the relationship, the career you want? Keep centering your thoughts and actions on these negative assumptions and you can be all but certain that you won’t. However, generating a tiny bit of micro confidence to take a step in the direction of what you want is all you need to shift your energies in a positive direction.
What that one small step is depends on your values and your goals. You might begin with a brief morning meditation or prayer centered on the changes you want to make. Make this a sacred time devoted to nurturing your ability to believe in what’s possible. Open yourself up to new ideas and allow yourself to receive guidance as to the next steps.
Ask yourself “what is the smallest action that I could take today that would still be a commitment to the changes I want to make”? Then take that action. You don’t have to have confidence in the end of your journey. You just have to believe enough to take that first small step!